Help a close family friends just commited suicide sum1 help me idk wut to do now!?

mi cuzin shot himself in the head and i still dnt kno y im 13 years old and i cnt stand to be in pain or c hiz close friends in pain lik diz he wuz 35 sum1 tell me how to grieve without thoughts of hurtin myself!im not suicidal im jus crushed cause he alwayz brought joy to everyones life omg i cnt stand it sum1 tell me how to deal wit diz asap